What Have I DONE!?

I am questioning my decision to return to school.  I am not sure why though?  Perhaps the impact it is having on my self-esteem??  I constantly find myself questioning my abilities, and of course then I complete an assignment and realize that it wasn't that hard.  I am starting to recall how I felt in college all those years ago.  As if I was in over my head all the time.  I would project on an assignment, procrastinate until the last minute and then once I actually STARTED TO WORK ON IT, would find that it really wasn't that difficult at all.  Have I not changed in 20 years!?

I am trying not to procrastinate, but although I start the assignment - time doesn't allow me to work on things as I would like.  All those years ago I have the luxury of being a full time student.  Today my life is EXTREMELY FULL.  I barely got into bed before 11:30 every night BEFORE I started school - now I find myself just exhausted!!!  I really don't know with my Crohn's Disease if I can do this.  I know that stress and exhaustion are not good for it and I am fearful that I might have another flare up if I don't take care of myself (or is that just a way for me to quit without having to own it).  Oh, my fear of failure rearing it's ugly head...!  If I quit then I won't have to worry about failing?  I won't have to sacrifice.  I am not going to get this without DOING THE WORK.  That's how life is....  I KNOW these things.... but I guess I just forgot HARD and PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTING this is would be.

Stay tuned....

Week 2

Feeling a little overwhelmed at trying to get back into the swing of studying and how the new technology works.  So far I don't think this is in any way unexpected, however it is still overwhelming.

As I start to make my way around the Forums I am finding that ability to interact with my classmates outside of the classroom to share ideas, questions and concerns to be a great tool.

As far as time management, this past week I remembered the constant state of anxiety I lived in during undergrad school, due to my own habit of procrastination.  I have vowed to not make the same mistakes as an adult as I did as a teen!!

Better Late then Never

Ok, so here I am 43 years old, and I decide that now would be a good time to return to school!!  What was I thinking!?!?!  Oh wait, I remember now.. I wanted to better myself.  Challange myself.  Grow as an individual.  Allow myself more professional opportunities.  Yeah, that was it.

So back to school and the first class is Leadership.  This seems like a good place to get my feet wet.  I think I'm a leader, but I suppose that is something that will become more clearly defined for me through this process.  I am always looking to grow and expand my abilities, so I am looking forward to the feedback I will get through the LPI Online 360 evaluation process.

Stay tuned...